Dr. Grabow Pipes

Editor · Editor Joined: 22 May 2008 Posts: 13 Location: cyberspace

:: as posted by Raleigh C. Perry, On Fri, 09 May 1997, alt.smokers.pipes::

By hook or crook or by both, I have acquired a copy of The Honorable
Dr. Grabow's speech to the 1995 PCI show in St. Louis. For those in
this group that can't stand the thought of those "cheap" pipes, they
have to reconsider their horrible thoughts and put the line into a
different perspective.

I would like to thank the source, herein unnamed, for getting this
information to me.

As was quoted in my News Release the other day, I don't have any Dr.
Gs in my collection, but I do have warm fuzzies sometimes when I
consider the pleasure the first one brought to me. And for those who
want to smoke them, have no fear, because without Dr. Grabow, there
may well never be another Dunhill for the more elite in the
neighborhood to brag about.

The point of all my posts is singular. Enjoy what you have and smoke
it with delight. And for those that criticize or admonish the Dr. G
smokers to hurry up, stomp the hell out of that pipe and get nothing
but the best, just leave them alone, let them enjoy what they have and
through reading the posts in the neighborhood they will be enticed,
maybe, to try something different.

So for those out there that insist that they have only the best,
please write Dr. Grabow a letter thanking him for what he has
personally done for you. The message is clear and not open to
misinterpretation. He might well be personally responsible for your
smoking pleasure.

Now I quote:

A NEW TAKE ON DR. GRABOW

Doug Allen, OPC member and President of Sparta Industries, delivered
the
following speech at the 1995 PCI show in St. Louis. Hearing about it,
prevailed upon Doug to let it appear in print first in the OPC
newsletter, and he graciously agreed. Reader comments and replies are
encouraged.

The Honorable Dr. Grabow
Doug Allen

This evening, gathered with this large group of pipe lovers, I'd like
to honor the greatest of pipes--Dr. Grabow. Surely, you're saying, I
must have taken leave of my senses to call Dr. Grabow the greatest of
pipes.

Well, I've made a claim, so let me try to justify my outrageous
statement.

In our country, one measure of greatness has always been size: the
bigger, the better; the more, the merrier. Dr. Grabow sells nearly
one million pipes a year. But, you argue, certainly in this case more
is not necessarily merrier. Simply because the masses smoke a Dr.
Grabow doesn't mean it should be classed as a great pipe. Certainly,
you insist, a Dr. Grabow cannot be judged as comparable to the Mastro
de Paja that my good friend Thomas Cristiano is showing this weekend.
Nor would anyone compare the collectability of a Dr. Grabow to Steve
Anderson's handmades. Why then am I standing here talking about Dr.
Grabow? Can it be the construction?

Yes, in many ways the methods of making a Dr. Grabow are exactly the
same as those the fine Italian artisans employ. Of course there are
differences. We don't spend as much time sanding a Dr. Grabow as the
Lorenzetti Brothers might, for example. Our bits, though we use some
lucite, may not be as fancy as Cesare Barontini produces for our
Mastercraft Aldo Velani line.

The most similar feature between a Dr. Grabow and the exquisite pipes
many of you are smoking tonight is the wood. Every Dr. Grabow
pre-smoked pipe starts with exactly the same block of briar as does
your favorite. Yet this lowly block of wood is why I speak about the
greatness of Dr. Grabow.

Before I finish that thought about Dr. Grabow, let me talk for a few
minutes about the wood. The White Heather (Erica Arborea) grows in
the sandy soil of the mountains ringing the Mediterranean Sea. After
about five hot summers and mild winters, a small fibrous growth starts
forming just above the roots. After many years (even centuries) of
growth, the burl is ready to be harvested. This harvest is a
time-consuming, back-breaking job.

During one trip to Greece, I clambered over the hills to observe the
workers (paid by the weight of their finds) dig these burls using only
a pick and lots of elbow grease. Thansis, a typical worker, uses his
family burro to move his wood about 15 kilometers to his meeting spot
with George Siderakis, the mill owner. The burls are washed and then
kept wet, to avoid splitting, until the cutter is ready to change the
burl into briar blocks.

Imagine sitting in a loft all day with your feet dangling down and an
18-inch saw blade whirling at a couple thousand RPMs near your crotch.
If that isn't enough, the wood they're cutting is wet and still a
little muddy. Do you remember the last time you tried to cut a
slightly damp 2x4? It's tough, dirty work and the workers get paid
only for the usable block they cut during the long day. As the blocks
are cut, the cutter grades the wood based on visible grain and
imperfections showing. During all this, the wood must be kept wet.

When a fairly large amount of cut wood has been accumulated, it is
boiled in a large copper vat for 24 hours. The boiling removes most
of the natural oils from the wood. This is the beginning of the
break-in process for your new pipe. Only after boiling can the
wood-drying process begin. At the saw-mill, the cut blocks are
allowed to dry for approximately 90 days. After drying, the blocks
are sorted by size and bagged for shipping to a pipemaker.

Once we receive a shipment of briar, we continue the drying in special
rooms for another 90 days minimum. For the highest grade pipes, we
dry the wood for at least a year before turning and then another six
months after turning but before any sanding or other work. This
insures you the easiest, most enjoyable break-in period and the most
pleasurable smoking experience overall.

I know you think I've gotten off track by talking about how the wood
is harvested when I started talking about the greatness of Dr. Grabow
pre-smoked pipes. The wood is the greatness of Dr. Grabow. No, we
don't use all straight-grain, perfect blocks for Dr. Grabow. Many of
the more perfect blocks are used in our production of the Alpha USA
series and the Blue Ridge Collection. Because we buy almost all the
world's production of non-straight-grain and less-than-perfect briar
blocks, the price of your favorite Dunhill is only in the
thousand-dollar neighborhood, or you only have to pay several hundred
dollars or more for that exquisite Mastro de Paja.

We buy slightly over half the world's total briar wood production. If
it weren't for the Dr. Grabow drug-store pipe, the briar wood industry
along the Mediterranean sea would all but disappear. This in turn
would drive up the price of wood far beyond what the market would
allow, thus ending the pipe business as we know it today. We know
this is true because, eight years ago, Sparta Industries found itself
vastly overstocked with briar and quit buying for three years. During
that time, six of 21 small briar-processing factories--29% of the
total--closed their doors, and five of them did not re-open when we
began buying briar again after three years.

So, as with many things in our world, our small, humble entry into the
market paves the way for the rest. Richard Nixon coined a phrase that
perfectly describes Dr. Grabow--the silent majority.

Don't misunderstand me. Even though Dr. Grabow is a great pipe, I
still save my pennies in hopes of one day affording one of Tom's
beautiful Mastro de Paja pipes. But I hope that, while you puff on
your favorite, you'll more fully appreciate the role Dr. Grabow plays
in the world of smoking pipes.

End Speech

So, as you light up your Dunhills this evening or break out your other
favorite super quality, high priced smoker, reflect on the role that
Dr. G plays and enjoy your smoke even more.