Dr. Grabow Pipes

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:10 am Post subject: What to do & What not to do

Don't try to drill out the stem on your tampon pipes with a high speed drill to make the tampon filter fit better. It gets out of hand real fast.

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:13 am Post subject:

Don't try to make a "poor man's retort" with high-proof alcohol, a turkey baster, and surgical tubing. While you are smoking. In a room that also serves as your reloading room. With several lbs. of gunpowder and tins of primers on the shelf above.

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:13 am Post subject:

Don't use visegrips for anything having to do with your pipes. Ever.

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:17 am Post subject:

Don't reshape your stems by boiling them in the kitchen pots on the kitchen stove anytime when your wife might come home.

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:22 am Post subject:

Don't light a kitchen match by sticking it into your pipe bowl and drawing really hard.

And although you can do it, don't strike the "strike anywhere" matches on your teeth. Both of these taste bad.

Or with your thumbnail like they do in the 1940s movies. Sometimes the matchhead jams under your thumbnail while it is igniting.

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:57 am Post subject:

Don't try to make a straight stem Viking into a bent stem Pacer, even if you think you know what you're doing.

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:04 am Post subject:

Don't let your pot-head brother in law talk you into letting him borrow one of your good pipes because he is going to a Halloween costume party as Sherlock Holmes. It won't taste the same after.

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:35 am Post subject:

Don't overfill your Zippo lighter and put it in your jean's pocket. You'll find out why.

And while we are on the subject of filling and overfilling Zippo lighters. Don't try to light your pipe with a Zippo you just overfilled and spilled down the sides and over your hand while you are driving. Transforming into a human torch is incompatible with driving safely.

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:11 am Post subject:

Don't attempt to look at something through binoculars on a neckstrap while you are smoking your pipe. Especially when you are riding in your best friend's new Denali with gray, unblemished leather upholstery.

This rule also applies to cameras on a neckstrap.

drbridges · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:07 am Post subject:

There are some reasonably satisfactory ways to tighten a loose push stem joint on a pipe, and none of them involve adhesive tape.