What to do & What not to do

drbridges · What to do & What not to do

Don't try to drill out the stem on your tampon pipes with a high speed drill to make the tampon filter fit better. It gets out of hand real fast.

drbridges

Don't try to make a "poor man's retort" with high-proof alcohol, a turkey baster, and surgical tubing. While you are smoking. In a room that also serves as your reloading room. With several lbs. of gunpowder and tins of primers on the shelf above.

drbridges

Don't use visegrips for anything having to do with your pipes. Ever.

drbridges

Don't reshape your stems by boiling them in the kitchen pots on the kitchen stove anytime when your wife might come home.

drbridges

Don't light a kitchen match by sticking it into your pipe bowl and drawing really hard.

And although you can do it, don't strike the "strike anywhere" matches on your teeth. Both of these taste bad.

Or with your thumbnail like they do in the 1940s movies. Sometimes the matchhead jams under your thumbnail while it is igniting.

drbridges

Don't try to make a straight stem Viking into a bent stem Pacer, even if you think you know what you're doing.

drbridges

Don't let your pot-head brother in law talk you into letting him borrow one of your good pipes because he is going to a Halloween costume party as Sherlock Holmes. It won't taste the same after.

drbridges

Don't overfill your Zippo lighter and put it in your jean's pocket. You'll find out why.

And while we are on the subject of filling and overfilling Zippo lighters. Don't try to light your pipe with a Zippo you just overfilled and spilled down the sides and over your hand while you are driving. Transforming into a human torch is incompatible with driving safely.

drbridges

Don't attempt to look at something through binoculars on a neckstrap while you are smoking your pipe. Especially when you are riding in your best friend's new Denali with gray, unblemished leather upholstery.

This rule also applies to cameras on a neckstrap.

drbridges

There are some reasonably satisfactory ways to tighten a loose push stem joint on a pipe, and none of them involve adhesive tape.

drbridges

Pipe smoking and hunting go naturally together. After many years smoking in blinds and watching javelina, hogs, and deer I am unconvinced the smell of burning tobacco spooks wildlife. However, do put your pipe down before shouldering your long firearm. Disregard this rule if you hunt with a handgun.

I suspect this is a good rule for bow hunters too.

Once heard of a pipe smoking hunter who was rushed by a rutting buck after tapping out the ash from his bowl. Apparently the buck believed the sound was from a fight between bucks.

drbridges

This doesn't have anything to do with Dr. Grabow pipes, or even with pipes at all. It is just a good rule.

When cleaning squirrels, don't ever think their gallbladder is too small to hurt you and pop it in your mouth. It's worse than cherry blend tobacco.

drbridges

Do try to smoke your bowl all the way to the bottom. Then stir the ashes. This helps keep the bottom of the bowl drier. If you want a nice cake, after you stirred the ashes, put your thumb over the bowl and shake, coating the bowl interior with nice gray ash. Do make certain all of the embers are extinguished before shaking.

If you are unable to finish a bowl, set it aside and finish it later. It won't taste as good.

Friend of mine smokes only the top half of every bowl. He says he doesn't enjoy the bottom half. I tell him I could save a lot of tobacco money if I lived close enough to harvest his ash trays for dumped tobacco.

He suggested I could use the tobacco money I save to pay for his Denali's upholstery.

LokoMac8

ted

Mac....I did that. Matches mixed in with some unshelled peanuts....in the 8th grade. Thought it was going to take a fire extinguisher to put it out. No, It's not pleasent.

Don't BBQ naked.

SD...I know it's not your doing, but why does it say "We delete those unfit to date" whenever I access the Forun. Whose posts has google/yahoo been watching? Donkey Nuts? That'll be mine.....-ted-

Sir Duke

Dear Old Timer,

I was waiting for this very question. It is an ad for a dating service (meaning they delete the weirdos)

Since this is a free forum for another month or two I have no control over the ads. Their "bots" picked up on our use of the phrase "Grabow Dating".

That siad, Don't Run with scissors you'll put an eye out!

SD

ted

you are a "nice un". Thanks....-ted-

drbridges

Sir Duke and ted appear to have their own private language. At times I don't have a clue what they are talking about.

GrabowGuy

drbridges

GrabowGuy

To each his own I guess.

Sir Duke

the beauty of of pipe smoking has just reared its lovely head.
sooo many methods. one works for someone the other guys it dont work for.
pipe and tobacco preference is fodder for endless debate as well. Its a win win.

I leave my pipes in the care all the time. Dont kill um.... I break the rules and I break some pipes. My smoking technique sucks. You cant understand me when i talk with a pipe in my mouth, and my shoes stink.

Its getting late. Just lovin the pipe talk...

drbridges

If you are in the habit of dumping the ash from your pipe into a tray and then setting your pipe in the dumped ash, eventually you will scorch the outside of your pipe. I have seen this.

drbridges

Do strive to be flexible and open-minded about your smoking habits.

What works for one may not work for another.

What works for you with one pipe may not work with another pipe.

What works for you when you are distracted and puffing casually while reading or driving may not work for you if you are experiencing stress on a 10-minute break.

So if you find you are enjoying your pipes less, experiment.

Every once in a while, the angels are with you and you experience a superb and most wonderful bowl.

Sir Duke

Never use a coffee cup as an ashtray in your car. If you do, never let it fill with the kindling that is used, wood matchsticks. If you do let it fill with spent matches, do not introduce flame to this by way of throeing an unextinguished match to the whole mess.

I have done this three times and if your on the phone when your dashboard goes up in flame it tends to result in "distracted driving" as you desparately reach for the water bottle on the floor of the passenger side praying there is a LEAST backwash at the bottom of the bottle.

You will find yourself desparately trying to work up enough spit to douse the flames.

Be proactive. Spit on the match BEFORE disposing of aforementioned match the rest is just "spitting in the wind."

Newbies be warned, should this happen to you, you might have to re-light.

drbridges

drbridges · Ajustomatic - Be Certain

Always make certain your pipe is an Ajustomatic before you use the over-turn feature.

I have a saddle-bit Canadian made by Bradberry that is not Ajustomatic. I have broken and repaired the shank 2-3 X because I forgot to check.

An Ajustomatic stem has an aluminum collar surrounding the male threads.

Flycruiser

Do not put a burning pipe in the pocket of a flannel shirt while working in a barn. I have done this and it didn't work out so well. For me or the barn...

Flycruiser

Do remember to take the pipe out of your mouth before starting your friend car with the automatic seat belt. Your pipe and friend will thank you.

BWThomas

Don't leave one of your favorite pipes on the rail of my brother-in-law's deck. You'll forget where you left it, and he won't notice it for three weeks. The weather will find that ill placed fill on the shank and split it wide open.

steverino

When trying to relight the last few crumbs of tobacco in the bottom of a pipe, do not draw hard.

Flycruiser

Do not place your nose directly over a 3/4 burnt, though still smoldering pipe and sniff. This hurts, your nose will be black and you will be laughed at. 'Least that's what they say.

Gig

Smoke what you like and like what you smoke Smile

What to do & What not to do

Ajustomatic - Be Certain